|both of them in the early scan|
It may take a little while to complete my journey but every letter is worth it, so let me begin.
It was the summer of 2009, I was doing really well in my job I had finished and qualified as a beautician. Me and the children's father had just returned from our holiday and I wasn't feeling too well and I missed a period. At the time I didnt really think anything of it but after a couple of days I started to feel different in myself, its hard to explain but I just felt pregnant, so I decided to take it upon myself and do a test. When it appeared positive I denied it and said the test was broken, over and over. After locking myself in the bathroom crying for over an hour I told the father, he didnt really give me the reaction I was hoping for. A couple of days later my mum drilled it out of me on the phone as I couldnt bare to tell her, all I kept thinking was there all going to be ashamed and that I'm too young etc etc, but instead they were very supportive towards it all and after alot of "family meetings" we came to the conclusion that we can do this and we can do it well, so everything was going well we had our docotrs appointments and booked in for our first scan.
|Leora at 12 weeks|
Mum came to the hospital first thing in the morning and we just waited for the scan. We were both scared, nervous and excited, as we sat in silence the nurse called us in, we smiled at each other and we entered the room. As she started the scan she looked very puzzled and out of the blue she turned to us and said "oh there's two in there" and turned the monitor to face us, we both just looked at each other and we burst out laughing with genuine tears of laughter. To this day I don't really know why reacted like that but we did. After the scan was over and we were back in your room the first thing we obviously did was spread the news and no one believed us every ones words were stop joking, your lying, and haha yeah really funny tell me the truth.
|Luca at 12 weeks|
So after a month or so and everything was going well I had no morning sickness and no cravings really so it was fairly good in that respect. We went to our first scan through a consultant the problems started to occur, they first said leora (twin 2) in their eyes was just going to be a small baby, but over a period of time it got worse they began to say she would have down syndrome or she would suffer from disappearing twin syndrome which when I went to the next scan she may just not be there. The next scan came and we all had to prepare ourselves for the instance she wasn't there, thankfully she was the relief was just overwhelming.
The problems with leora just kept coming and as a 20 year old I wasn't coping the nurses just came back saying she would have dwarfism or any chromosome disorder, we were faced with a massive decision weather to carry on with Leora's life as they were adamant there was something wrong we all will never forget one scan we went too mum my sister came with us both as they were worried about the children and mum and my sister waited in a room while me and their father were being spoken too, when we both went in we sat down and my loving sister turned to us and said "so is she a mong then?".
|My bump at 21 weeks.|
It was now winter and everyone was getting ready for Christmas. We had a scan as regular and after we sat and we waited, our consultant came through to speak to us as normal and she explained leora (twin 2) had stopped growing and there very concerned so she informed us that I would be getting induced. That information didn't register straight away. Five minutes later I burst out crying and just said "what" the tears just kept falling I didn't know what to expect really.
The induction came I arrived at the hospital at 4:00pm on Monday the 14th December.
|me on the day of going to hospital.|
There was a couple of problems Leora was born in her sack and to which I have heard if children are born in the sack they are physic so we shall see, it also took them a couple of minutes to bring her around as she wasn't breathing but thankfully it worked and she was rushed into nicu (neonatal intensive care unit).
Even though me and their dad are no longer together Luca and Leora are the best thing that has come into my life and the journey continues...
|Luca's wrist band|
|Leora's Wrist band|